Year 2009 had been a very challenging year for me; to be precise - in my school life. Lots of tribulations and challenges kept on hunting me one after another.
In the beginning of year 2009, I was selected to become the head assistant of the school prefect board
. At first, I was happy about it as I thought this post is sooooo much better and less stress compared to a secretary cause seriously, I went through a very tough time being a secretary since I was in form one itself. But later on, I started to realise that being the head assistant is not any easier as I thought. My head and I had to be responsible for every single things that is going on among the prefects no matter how big or small the matter is. So, we really gotta keep our eyes on the prefects all the time. This is what we had to do till the end of August.
This year(2009), I decided to leave my post as the editor of my school magazine cause I was just afraid that i might not have the sufficient time to complete my homework and to do my revision since that actuallly happened to me the previous year. I couldn't really focus well on my revision for year end exam because of my other responsibilities. But at the end of January 2009, the teacher who is incharge of the editorial board convinced
me to get back to my post by saying that this year, he's going to select more crews so all I need to do is only to supervise those who are under me and help them out a lil bit here and there. So finally I did just as what the teacher said. But then since there are some new faces, I couldn't expect them to do everything on their own. So I had to work on the magazine stuff too.
In the middle of february, we formed a debate team and we started to work towards the debate which was held on April. This year's team was mainly formed by new faces; so since I had more experience on debate compared to the others, I had to help them out with their texts and stuff and just because of this, I used to sleep at 2.00am ++ everyday & wake up at 5.30am in the morning. Since I had a very less sleep, I used to have flu almost everyday, headache and eye bags. :( But anyway, the team was a good team overall! :)
Eventually, the day came and we won the first place! Praise God! The good news was that we'll be representing Sepang District to the state level, but there was also a bad news for us(
especially form 5 debaters..>_<) - we have to prepare for the state level which will be held on june!! Oh Gosh... This doesn't sound good for me...
Days passed by swiftly with us - searching info and preparing items for the states. The day came and this time, we lost. (
how sad..:( ).. But in the same time, somewhere deep inside our hearts, we felt a little bit relieved cause now, we can concentrate more on our studies.
But sadly, in just about three weeks after the debate, i had to sit for my SPM trials!! Imagine how I would have felt.. No preparations.. No revisions.. nothing! Everything that i could remember was only about the debate points. And the worst part is; i have to redo ALL my ICT assignments!! Everything that I did for the previous year's coursework were destroyed by viruses in my school lab comps and the backup files in my desktop were also erased when I reformat it. Now, I have to complete ALL my assignments, do my homework, work on my school magazine stuff in this 3 weeks of time!
I had to go through the same routine. Reach home after school approximately at 5.15 pm everyday, fresh up myself, do my homework and sit in front of the comp to complete my assignments and work on the school magazine items till 2am +. But in between, I used to sign in my facebook la..(
sambil menyelam minum air...hehe).. well thats the only time I use to relax myself a bit..
I went through a very tough moment. I even used to lock myself in my room and cry out to God cause I was just too much worried about my SPM. How am I going to focus on my SPM with all these? Will I manage to get straight 'A's? Will I make my parents happy with my results? and so many other quests used to run across my mind. I rarely share all these to my mom cause I don't want her to be worried as well but then, somehow(
maybe a mother's instinct) she knew my situation and she was always there to support me! =)
The trials came.. I know I was not fully prepared to sit for it but then I had to. I just left everything to God and sit for the examination. Wanted to get straight(10) 'A1's for my trials but I got only 8'A's. But then still I thanked God cause without Him; I would have not even get those 8'A's.
Praise be to God!
Ater my trials, thought I could finally focus more on my revision, but then another prob came up. Some of the school magazine items were missing and we have to send the softcopy to the publisher before SPM. So I divided the magazine tasks to the crews but some of the f5 school magazine crews refused to do their part because SPM was just around the corner. The teacher of the editorial board could also say nothing cause our teachers do not want us to miss our classes since SPM is near.
This really made me go crazy and pissed off.
Why can't 'they' try to understand my situation as well? Come on..I'm also 1 of the SPM candidates and I have even lesser preps compared to you guyz. Everything can be completed in a short time if all of us work together!
Its not easy to be strict to those who're close with you; especially if she/he is ur own classmate! I didn't want any probs to rise among ourselves so I had to work'em out by myself with another friend that kindly helped me out with. :) But the quest that pondered on my mind -
"Will I be able to cover all the topics and subjects before SPM? Oh Lord, You gotta help me!"
Thank God, there were some of them who really helped me out. I was truely impressed with the new crews cause they did their job very well and did not grumble at all.
Finally everything was over two - three weeks before the real SPM. I couldn't do much revision too cause I had to do the exercises that the teachers give in class as well. I was badly worried. The big period came and I sat for SPM. Thing that I never went through in my entire life happened when I sat for my English paper 1- I went blank!! Before this I only used to listen to people saying about getting blank in the exam hall, but that was my very first time to experience it by myself. Trust me, its just soo horrible!! English paper 1 is the paper that I love the most after mathematics & add maths as you can just pour out your everything through your writing plus for SPM, one of the essay quests is exactly the one that I did for my oral! But I have no idea why on that moment, I couldn't write anything for the first 30 minutes; I repeat -30 MINUTES!! It was just like a night mare. But thank God, somehow i managed to complete the paper later on.
I don't know whether I've done my best or not but what I know is; God will never forsake me! He knows the best for me and He always has a better plan for each and everyone of us.
Those were just about the difficulties that I've went through in studies and my responsibilities. But there are also problems which my friends had and I get a wrong impression when I tried to help'em out. How sad is that..=(.. The worst part is, others get praises and even awards for things which I did just because the way they react is as though they're the one who did'em. I was not looking forward for the praises; but I was just dissapointed to think about the characters of some people who claim themselves as our friends but gladly backstab us. I couldn't say this out to anyone that moment so I'm just pouring things out here. But luckily, I have wonderful family and friends who're always there with me and knows everything that goes on. Some might not know the truth; but its enough for me to know that my family, classmates and those who're with me knows the truth of who I am and what I did... =)
I was really sad that I didn't get that 'particular award' but then I realised; how many awards you win does not matter, but what matters is; how many hearts did u win?
During the ending period of schooldays, some of the valuable words that i heard from the teachers :
*I can find no other 'Jasmins' after you.. No one can be like you!
*SMKC is going to miss such a superb yet a humble student like you
*I've no idea who could take over your place here
*You're the only student that I've seen having the spirit of 1 Malaysia planted in you even before the 1 Malaysia concept is announced.
*Jasmin = multi-talented creation of God
Some of the juniors even came and gave me a hug.. Seriously, i'm gonna miss all my teachers and the whole cyberians badly! ='(
Btw, No one knew this so far(
apart form my family), I'm just writing it down here to keep this as a memory.. =)
Lastly, I just hope that year 2010 will go on smoothly and I'm praying for 10 'A+', but no matter what, everything is in God's hands. So, do answer my prayer Oh Lord! ^_^
"HAVE A BLESSED 2010, BROTHERS AND SISTERS, UNCLES AND AUNTIES, GRANDPAS AND GRANDMAS,BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS!! =P"
p/s : I'm sure therez a lot of grammatical errors coz i simply main tulis ikut flow..hehe...Malas to check back la..so, i'm sorry k..xD.. also, sorry if I've been too emo :P
