~ThE MeLoDy Of My LiFe~: The Unravelled Dilemma

8th July 2012 - The day I first stepped into Curtin University, Sarawak campus.
Mom, sis and Nath followed me to my room and helped me to tidy up the whole place. No longer after that, they had to leave me so that they'll be able to catch the flight back to KL. With a heavy heart, we gave a goodbye hug to each other. Tears were rolling down mom's cheeks, causing me to tear up as well. I thought I would be fine since Sarawak is just at another part of Malaysia, but I was wrong. I started feeling so lonely and sad just after they left. The fact that I wasn't able to see any students walking around the campus made me feel even worse. The campus was so quiet and there were also no restaurants/cafeteria nearby opened (Apparently it was because the students were on their sem break). I didn't even have internet access on the first day to spend my time with, but luckily I met Shiela and Lavania (my housemates, my first Curtin friends ^^) later on. We had a chat at Roger's and went back to our rooms to get prepared for our first day of orientation.

The next day was the first day of our orientation. I went to the lecture hall with Lava and Shiela and the students were separated into groups. I was actually quite surprised to see the campus environment that day as it was waaaay different than the first day I came in. The campus was filled with students and it looked very much lively and interesting. I felt so much better and I got to meet a lot of new friends through the group activites. Jacky was late to come so when he came, he just joined my group.

The whole week of orientaion went on really well and all of us had a good time with all the group activities. The students were also so nice that I started to like Curtin very much in just within a week.

Everything went on smoothly... However, when I was starting to adapt with the new environment and get closer with my new friends, the results of IPTA was released and things changed.

First of all, YES, I applied for IPTA just for the sake of applying so that I won't feel guilty of not trying it out but I thought it was almost impossible for me to get a place in the public universities since:

1st - My qualification is A-Levels whereas public universities do not really acccept A-Levels students. There are 2 or 3 unis that accept, but still they give the priorities to the STPM and Foundation students.
2nd - Even after getting straight 'A's in my SPM, I failed to get a place in IPTA so how much possibility is there for me to get a place in IPTA this time when i don't even get all 'A's in my A-Levels?
3rd - I'm a non-bumi. So even if I get a place, I might not get the course that I want to do.

With all the above thoughts, I decided to join Curtin without taking the risk to wait for the IPTA results.

Now, when I first checked the UPU system, it says 'Maaf, permohonan anda tiada dalam sistem' (Sorry, your application is not in the system). I kept refreshing the page again and again but still, I received the same reply. I was actually quite pissed off that after all the hideous things that I had to do to apply for IPTA, they end up saying that my application is not in the system! Come on, I would be satisfied if you say that I failed to get a place at least but please don't tell me that you lost my application! :/

So I called my mom and told her about it. Mom said it's alright, maybe it happened that way because Curtin is a better choice for you. However, few hours later, mom called and told me about a dream that she dreamt. The dream interprets that something which doesn't seem to be right initially gave a positive outcome eventually. She has been dreaming few dreams that interprets the same way and she shares with me about those dreams too. Mom thought it might be something related to my application, and she told me to check the system again. So I checked again and to my surprise, from 'permohonan anda tiada dalam sistem', it changed to 'tahniah! permohonan anda berjaya'. I've got a place at Universiti Malaysia Pahang for Chemical Engineering.
Praise God!

However, instead of feeling happy about it, I actually felt sad and I had the biggest dilemma in my life I would say - whether to stay at Curtin, or to leave. I had about 3 weeks to finalise my decision so till then, I attended the classes as usual. The longer the time that I spent there with my friends, the harder it was for me to make the decision. I know my parents want me to go to UMP but deep inside my heart, I didn't wanted to leave Curtin. I fell in love with the place that I disliked initially, I fell in love with the sunset view nearby the lake, I fell in love more with the people there, especially with my group of friends. It was indeed an awesome feeling to know that I have friends who actually took the courage to call my parents just to convince them to make me stay at Curtin.

Namely Jacky, Emmanuel, Lava, Guha and MJ put really a looot of effort to make me stay at Curtin and that made me feel really touched. :')
Anyway, I eventually decided to go to UMP based on certain factors.
I'm truly sorry if you guyz think that I'm very stubborn. I would definitely follow your advises if the decision was 100% based on me alone but too bad, I have to think about other factors that relates to my family too.
I know they would've felt upset with me and I really feel bad about it. :(
Only God knows what I was going through during that period. A really hard time, something that I never went through before in life. One side making you to stay at Curtin and the other side is pulling you away from Curtin whereas I'm stuck in between. Oh gosh, hate that feeling! :/

Anyhow, I was so touched by my group of friends who actually spared time from their busy schedule to organised a surprise Farewell Party for me a day before I left. It was truly a night to remember!
From deep within my heart, thanks a billion guyz!

After a sleepless night, Jacky, Lava, Emmanuel, Guha, Faris and MJ actually sent me off to the airport the next day..Glad to have this nice bunch of friends around me. :')

So that was the day I stepped out of Miri, with a hard goodbye. A tough decision that I made, but I believe everything happens for a reason. There must be a reason why God allowed me to go to Curtin in the first place and there must be a reason why I have to move on to UMP. I might not know the reason right now, but I believe I will know it eventually, sooner or later.
One thing I believe, when we put out trust in God and let Him to lead our lives, He will definitely lead us through the best part! ALL FOR GOOD! ^^

Last but not least, thank you guyz for being a wonderful bunch of friends to me. Though I've known all of you just for less than a month, I feel like I've known you guyz for years. Thank you so much for making me feel like home. I would definitely cherish and remember all the memories that you guyz have given me within this short period of time. I sayang you all la! :) <3 p="p">